My Hero...

While reading Philip's last post I reminded myself just how thankful I am for my husband. He is my hero. Before we were together he left behind family and friends to serve his country with pride. He protected my freedom without knowing I would be apart of his life. It is neat that I was able to pray for him while he was gone, not knowing we would end up together! I am honored to know him, let alone be married to him. As Philip wrote in the last post, we do have so much to be thankful for. (Malachi just kicked in agreement.)

One thing I look forward to one day is telling Malachi, (when he is old enough to understand)all about his Daddy and all that he did to protect us. Philip will already be Malachi's hero because he will adore and love him so much, just because he is his Daddy. I can't wait for Malachi to know just how amazing a man his father is, and how blessed we are to have Philip leading our family. I know that there is NO ONE ELSE that I would want to walk through all of this with. Philip has been such a vessel of strength and used as a voice of Truth for me. I am so blessed! Although Christ will always be my first love and hero, I am so glad that He blessed me with a tangible hero! :o)

Love,
April

"Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:12

I love you Malachi...

I was realizing today that I have not written in quite some time, so I am going to attempt to share with you my thoughts today.

I cannot even begin to fathom the immense love that my Lord has for me, for my wife, and for my son. I find that each day that goes by, drawing us closer to when Malachi is born, brings me to a greater understanding of how great my God is and how small I truly am. I wish that I could say I don't understand what the Lord is doing, allowing my little son, my little Malachi, to have this defect, this imperfection... that he has to come into this world with a broken heart and go through surgery when he won't even know what's going on or why he has to be in pain. I wish that I could be oblivious to why innocent little babies have to develop abnormally and face a difficult life due to physical imperfections. I wish I could forget why we exist... why we are born into an imperfect world with all of it's sin and imperfections. I wish that I could live without feeling, without tears, without fear... But I can't! I cannot forget, be oblivious, lack understanding, feeling, tears, or fear... because I wake up each morning... lying in the most comfortable bed... with the sun shining on my face... my beautiful wife lying next to me... and my son kicking inside of her. I am blessed beyond anything I could ever possibly imagine. I know that my life is His... I know that I am here to Glorify my Lord... I know that whatever He allows in my life, it is for good... it is to draw me to Him... to refine me and shape me into a reflection of Him. I know that my little Malachi is "...Fearfully and Wonderfully made..." Because He made him and formed him in April's womb... The Lord formed Malachi's inward parts... and He formed him and has given him to April and I so that we together as a family may have the honor of glorifying our Lord and Savior through anything! I understand this... I am not oblivious to this... I cannot forget it... I cannot live without feeling the weight of becoming a father, and the responsibility that comes with it... I cannot go without shedding tears for the ones I love... and I do fear... I fear that everyday I am given to live, is another day to Praise the Lord. What an incredible honor and responsiblity. I am learning daily that I cannot be a nebbishy man... for if I am going to fulfill my purpose here on this earth... I must take whatever comes my way and turn it into an opportunity to Trust the Lord giving Him all the Glory and Praise. Granted, I fail daily at this, but because I do understand... I continue to take one step at a time.

I cannot possibly express just how much I am looking forward to holding Malachi in my arms, looking into his eyes and telling him over and over and over how immensly I love him... and how much greater the Lord loves him. I am so thankful that he is my son and I am his father and April is his mother and we are a family! God is so good.


"For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139:13-16

27 Weeks!

"For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him. "So I have also dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the LORD." 1 Samuel 1:27-28

"For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14a

I have been doing some research on "hypoplastic left heart syndrome." Malachi is labeled as: "hypoplastic left ventricle." He is pretty similar to the cases I have read, but he has a larger aorta(body artery). He won't have to have the first surgery that most children have called, "the Norwood." There are two other surgeries: "the Glenn" and "the Fontan."

I found a very encouraging story about a little boy named, Luke. His mother made a website for him, it is: lukesheart.com

It is amazing to read how the Lord has brought him through all the surgeries and illness he has gone through.

We love you all and thank you for your continued prayer for our little Malachi Philip! :o) According to what I have read online Malachi weighs about two pounds! He is kicking a lot and filling my womb pretty nicely! :o)

Love,
April (for all three)

"He heals the brokenhearted, And binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

26 Weeks...

"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise,
In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?"
"Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" -Psalm 56:3-4,8b

The past few months have gone by in a blur. The next three are going to as well, I am sure. I was thinking about the road ahead and realized that what we are about to experience is humanly impossible. It makes me afraid and I cry A LOT. Then all of the doctrine and lessons we have learned come to mind: It is not our strength to get us through, only His that will be the strength we need: PERFECT STRENGTH. Philippians 4:13 takes on a whole new meaning when you realize that promise... We can do this, but only through HIS STRENGTH. So I need not be afraid, because He hold us in His hands. (John 10:28)

I was also reminded of another part of scripture I came across when I was going through something several years ago. (Thanks to Lori Cunningham.) It is the second part of Psalm 56:8. The Lord holds our tears in a bottle, and He records them. I asked myself why? Why would He hold onto them? Times of heartache and saddness, but also joy and happiness... why hold them? My opinion is that one day when we get Home to Heaven, He is going to give us the bottle and show us the record, and we will get to annoint our Savior's feet with our tears, just like Mary did. (Luke 7:36-50) I know I will be first in line. I pray that every tear cried would be tears that honored my Savior in this life. When it was hard and the burden was so heavy,I pray, that the tears I cried were in a cry out to Him. For all that He has brought us through so far, and will continue to bring us through, I DESIRE to annoint His feet with my tears to thank Him for being a faithful God who loves and cares for us... Philip, myself, and Malachi.

May our lives bring Him all glory and praise.

Love you all, and thank you again and again for the prayers and support!

Love,
April (for all three)

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28